Which is the Enemy: Success or Failure?

What is the opposite of success? Failure, some say.

According to Carol Dweck, author of Mindset, the idea that failure is the opposite of success comes squarely out of the fixed mindset. In the fixed mindset, either you are good at something, or you are not. Either you have the ability to succeed in college, or you do not. Either you are born as a natural athlete, or you are not. Either you succeed, or you fail.

The problem with the fixed mindset is that it leads to fear of failure and the constant need for external validation. Since the fixed mindset asserts that your talents and abilities are primarily fixed - not suceptible to development or evolution - any circumstance or critique that challenges your ability is perceived as an existential threat. Thus, you constantly need awards or recognition or praise or - even worse - to make others look bad or to blame someone else in order to combat your own insecurities. Moreover, you avoid stretching yourself with new challenges because if you do not succeed at the new endeavor, what does that show about you as a person? Either you succeed, or you fail.

As Dweck writes, "In the fixed mindset, everything is about the outcome. If you fail – or if you’re not the best – it’s all been wasted."

Alternatively, the growth mindset sees infinite potential in your ability to learn and develop through challenging experiences. In the growth mindset, failure is not the opposite of success; rather, it is part of the process of success. A failure is a learning opportunity. "The growth mindset allows people to value what they’re doing regardless of the outcome,” asserts Dweck. If anything, success that comes without failure is the most dangerous potion of all because it breeds arrogance and complacency, two enemies of the growth mindset that will limit your success in the long run.

To utilize a growth mindset:

- See mistakes on quizzes and bad grades on essays as opportunities to learn from failure. Use these mistakes as learning opportunities and motivation to learn and make changes.

- See through empty praise of outcomes, even if it is directed at you. If you did well without even trying, did you really do much to earn praise? Instead, ask for feedback on how to do even better next time. - Never assume that you cannot do something just because you do not have the talent or ability. People who succeed work hard and long in order to learn the skills and abilities that lead to success.

- When mentoring or coaching others, focus your praise on effort, not outcomes. Praising outcomes (fixed mindset): "You did great on this test! You are so smart!" Praising effort (growth mindset): "You did great on this test! All the hours you logged in the tutoring lab are paying off!"