Success Stories Don't Come Easy

Trouble keeping food on the table, a family member in jail, no guidance at home about how to register for courses or complete a scholarship application - yet this student made it into college and set her path for success. Such a story amazes me as an advisor, a student overcoming so many obstacles on her way to success.

In such powerful stories of personal triumph over harrowing circumstances, I hear a common theme: these students define life for themselves as opposed to being defined by the obstacles they face. These students choose how they respond to obstacles instead of letting obstacles determine their response.

But let's be real: it easy to talk about personal responsibility, but life can be much  more complicated. Sometimes the obstacles are so great that we are knocked down and - as dedicated as we may be - we falter, we lose hope, we want to just give up, we just want to blame someone or something for our situation.

And let's be honest:  it would be naive to assume that we all start from the same blank slate, and that the singular determinant of success is individual effort and hard work; we do not all have the same boot straps. A simple analysis of history and society makes it abundantly clear that we do not all face the exact same combination of obstacles and opportunities. We are not born in the log cabin that we built.

And so, I understand when a student responds to an obstacle by blaming, or complaining, or simply giving up. We have all been there, and sometimes it is a realistic response to an extremely challenging situation.

But I witness a defining characteristic in successful students: when they get knocked down, they dust themselves off, and they get back up. To do that - to get back up - that is a choice the student makes. You can make excuses, and they may certainly be reasonable, but if you stay knocked down, you stay knocked down, no matter who is right and who is wrong.

This is the essence of accepting personal responsibility. Do you focus on who or what knocked you down, or do you focus on how you can go about dusting yourself off and standing back up?

It is  empowering to accept personal responsibility for how you respond to obstacles and opportunities.  Success stories don't come easy, and to be honest, they may never come at all. But if you have the courage to always stand back up, no matter how difficult it may be, then you have lived a life to be proud of, a life of success.

Solve problems. Adapt. Evolve. Change the way you do things. Control your response. Learn from your past. Accept personal responsibility for your actions. And then, succeed!