Emotional Intelligence, Part 1

Drs. Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves define emotional intelligence as the “ability to recognize and understand emotions in yourself and others, and your ability to use this awareness to manage your behavior and relationships.”

How does emotional intelligence relate to your academic success?

Imagine that you are studying for your final exam in math. You set up a meeting with your professor the day before the test in order to ask some final questions. At the last minute, however, your professor cancels the meeting via e-mail, as he has a sick child at home. You did not get the e-mail, so you wasted an hour stopping by his empty office. Now it is the night before the final and you still do not know how to solve a few of the problems.

How would you feel? How would you respond? 

One possible negative response would be to skip the exam the next day, since you are upset that your professor was not available to help. "If he will not help, I will not try!" This would be an obvious example of self-defeating behavior produced by poor handling of emotions. 

One possible positive response would be to call one of your best friends. Not only is she a math major that might be able to answer your questions, but you  realize that you are stressed and anxious, and you know that your friend can help you calm down. By recognizing your emotions and identifying a positive response, you are able to get some sleep that night and come into your final feeling pretty confident. 

Emotional intelligence, at the individual level, is all about self-awareness. By definition, emotions well-up inside of us without conscious thought. But by consciously taking a moment to pause and assess, you can manage your negative emotions and harness your positive emotions, directing your responses toward your goals and reducing reactive and self-defeating behavior. 

To build self-awareness of your own emotions, ask yourself: 

#1 - Are these emotions an appropriate response? Emotions, in their effect, are real, no matter their cause. It is important to honor these emotions and not just brush them aside. With that being said, it is fair to assess whether or not your emotional response seems appropriate to scale. Are you making a mountain out of a mole hill? Alternatively, are you brushing aside something very significant?  

#2 - How are your emotions affecting your actions? Stand back for a moment to assess the situation and identify your possible responses. There may be times when quick action based on an inspiring emotion is the best course of action. We may have a boost of courage - for example - to speak to someone we have admired from afar. As a general rule, however, brash action taken in response to an emotion should be tempered by self-awareness. Don't rush into something you'll regret tomorrow.

On the one hand, emotions can be very powerful and inspire you to take action. On the other hand, emotions tend to be short-sighted and fleeting. It is to your advantage to take a moment,  pause, and become self-aware before acting on your emotions. 

In Part Two, we further examine emotional intelligence at the social level.